You know what is sadder than your baby girl turning one? Your almost 8 year old girls saying that her disney princess umbrella is too childish for her!!! I knew that day would come. I just thought it would be later rather than sooner. It seems like the princess stage is a rite of passage that starts in toddlerhood and ends, well right about now. I guess my big girl really is growing up!
Then about myself....pity party.....Eli looks at me tonight and says "Mommy, your belly is big!" Too bad I'm not 10 months pregnant for there to be an excuse for that comment. Yeah, I do weigh more than I have in my life - I'm aware of this. Constantly aware of this. I shy away from mirrors and having my picture taken because of this. What i see in both of those cases is a big body with a small head - a little dysmorphic but true. That is not how I feel on the inside though. I suppose I can make all the excuses I want - "I've had 3 kids", "I work and am a Mom", "The medicine causes me to gain weight", "Maybe my PCOS is acting up and causing the weight gain", "I don't have time", "I'm doing the best I can"..........but I guess it all boils down to I need to get to the gym and exercise. That is the only thing that will help. And I did for a month in February - then life with kids happened....then a trip....then track season....and now here I am. Then on top of that, I like to eat! I like good food and my portions get out of control sometimes. With all that said though - I just don't know if I have it in me to put in the effort to drop the weight. By the end of the day, I am sooooo worn out. And the amount that I need to lose is staggering. I can't even fathom it. But I really, really, really do want to be around to see my grandchildren and not die of a heart attack at age 50 or be diabetic for the rest of my life. Maybe I can do it....i dunno.....
And then sad too, one of my daughters-from-another-mother had her first heartbreak. I really feel for her. I would take the heartache for her if I could. But a lot of lessons are learned in those times. I guess you learn to respect yourself and to pull yourself off the floor and go on. I am very proud of her for initiating the conversation and dealing with the problems. She deserves nothing less than God's best for her.....he will come someday......her own personal prince charming in whatever armor God has given him......Who said you outgrown being a princess???
1 comment:
I totally feel you on the weight issue! Losing weight is one of the hardest things, physically and mentally, I have ever had to do! And right now I need to do it again! I think you look good, but I know how it is when you don't feel good! Kayleigh has yet to say she is too "big" for anything yet. I am just waiting for and dreading the day it happens!
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